Minimization

"It wasn't that bad." "What happened to me is nothing compared to what you're going through." "Well, at least... {insert positive thought here}" "Others have had it so much worse." "It was a long time ago." "Well, there's nothing I can do about it now." Our brains and bodies are experts at self-protection, and minimization … Continue reading Minimization

Teenagers

We are approaching a milestone in my house, where my oldest daughter is entering her teen years. Growing up, I was taught that teenagers were shifty, sneaky, untrustworthy, terrible, liars, cheaters, drunks, and sluts. In other words, my parents projected all their own bad behavior, along with a heaping dose of shame and judgement, onto … Continue reading Teenagers

Knowing My Worth

I work in a career field that does not offer a steady paycheck or job security of any kind. Like many artists, I most of what I do in order to make a living is generated from self-motivation and hustle. Often, the hours of work I put in are not compensated, but rather considered a … Continue reading Knowing My Worth

Hate Couch, Part Three

I thought I would update you all on my Hate Couch progress. If you haven't read the background about Hate Couch yet, you can do so here and here. I decided that I would chip away at it, literally, and take my time dismantling it. In the same way I am processing thousands of instances … Continue reading Hate Couch, Part Three

When Positive Thinking is Not Enough

There is a self help book by Louise Hay, written in the 1980's, called You Can Heal Your Life. It's about the emotional connections to disease in our bodies. According to Hay, our negative thoughts literally lead to our pain and suffering. Back pain is rooted in not feeling supported and carrying the burdens of … Continue reading When Positive Thinking is Not Enough

Permission

  For people who have lived under the thumb of an abusive or overbearing person, it is difficult to feel free to be who you are. I am in a long, slow process to lay down the burden of expectations that others have put on me, or that I put on myself as a result … Continue reading Permission

It’s OK to Not Be OK

  I wear a lot of hats, as most women do. Most of my life has been spent being too busy to deal with a lot of the things that now lie naked on the examination table. But right now, I am being intentional about making the time to look at the true impact of … Continue reading It’s OK to Not Be OK

Emotional Toddlers

  People who have experienced trauma often get stuck at the emotional age the trauma occurred if they have not dealt with it. It's why people who have been abused become abusers themselves. It's also¬† why someone who is in denial about their own abuse becomes irrational and defensive. People who have some disproportionate reaction … Continue reading Emotional Toddlers

Hate Couch, Part Two

You guys, I found my hate couch. It's the perfect dusty, moldy tweed. A little muted, and still not quite as hideous as the original inspiration, but it'll do, pig. It'll do. I had been watching it on Craigslist. They wanted forty dollars for the damn thing. Then they marked it down to twenty. I … Continue reading Hate Couch, Part Two

When Pets are More Loving Than People

I'm a cat person, and for me, my devotion to cats is directly linked to the abuse I endured as a child. When I was growing up, my cats were the only consistent source of companionship. Growing up in an abusive environment that where I left left essentially to raise myself, my cats were always … Continue reading When Pets are More Loving Than People