Hate Couch, Part Four

*If you would like to read parts one, two, and three about hate couch, go here, here, and here.

I was talking to my husband the other day about hate couch, and how I feel I am ready to let it go. It has been sitting in our garage the last couple months, with the usual garage clutter accumulating on top of it. My husband told me the largest black window spider he’s ever seen had taken up residence on it, which seemed to me to be an appropriate metaphorical home, but still. There are some things in this world I hope not to invite closer in to my life. Hate couch’s transformation into its dismantled state has served as a reminder of my own transformation. Every part of transformation is important and necessary, from start to finish. I felt it was important to not be in a hurry to jump ahead to the resolution and get rid of hate couch too soon. It’s my way of honoring and validating each stage of the journey.

But it’s time. So today, I went out to the garage to start the process of disposing of hate couch, piece by piece. And guess what? When I pulled off the blanket that had been covering it, I discovered it had been totally infested by crickets. I mean, like, barfapalooza infested.

How awesome is that??? I admired the insects’ work, and of course, about fifty metaphors came to mind, because that’s how my mind works. Here are some. Hate couch attracted and is now being slowly consumed by its own grossness. Creepy crawlies and creepy crawly droppings cover the entire dang thing. I would pick up a splintered off piece of armrest or poke at the dry heave-inducing upholstery, and two dozen crickets would scatter from each piece. Yes, in the end, evil consumes and destroys itself. How satisfying.

Another metaphor is this. The crickets are helpers. When one person takes the initial step and starts the work of transformation, others will join in and echo the work. My intention to irrevocably destroy hate couch (a metaphor in itself) has been carried out by several thousand tiny helpers. Yes indeed, how satisfying.

Still, having to pick up the pieces and dispose of hate couch with bugs crawling all over them is not satisfying at all. It’s super icky. As I was watching the hate couch horror story of crickets vs. black widows play out in my garage, I got an idea. Every story needs an uber villian, right? This is a job for a backyard chicken.

We happen to have some, so I brought one over to feast on the carnage. Man, she was SO happy. Plus, adding a chicken to the hot mess of hate couch is super fun. Here’s a pic.

I now also have chicken droppings in my garage, but who cares? Hate couch is being handled, and I am not alone in taking down ugliness, one piece at a time. And today, the additional work of black widows, crickets, and a chicken seem a fitting resolution to this couch’s story.

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